absent but present

summer 2012

remember when summer used to last a really, really long time?!  when june would end and you'd have worn through a pair of flip-flops and moved on to a new favorite flavor of popsicle?  if you are around my age now, middle pushing late, you know that is no longer the case.  i began this post in july but never finished it because time got away from me.  

this summer i attended my thirtieth high school reunion.  what a unique experience of time travel!  some classmates i recognized immediately but not because they looked the same as they did back then.  i was drawn to those people whose spirit i remembered, whether they had aged much or not.  and those were the easy conversations, the ones that picked up mid-stream, effortlessly.  the rest felt like an interview process: where do you live?  what are you doing?  how old are your children?  just like now, there people you connect with and there are those you spend polite time with.   

so time has its power and yet there are incidences in which it is insignificant.  as i vow to post more often, i hope to work with time in the best of ways.

fall

sunset through the trees last night, before the full moon rose

it is september first so i say we are now in the fall season.  i know the calendars and the solar system don't agree but that no longer concerns me.  when i was a kid, the calendar was broken up into four three-month periods.  december, january, and february were winter months.  march, april and may were spring.  summer consisted of june, july and august.  and fall was made up of september, october, and november.  simple and, for the most part, accurate.  so i have continued to refer to the seasons by this calendar to this day.

i have been a remiss blogger.  i have neglected this space for much too long although i am always writing, in my head and on paper.  and i have missed being here.  so, in the spirit of a new season, i am going to try to post more regularly.  and i hope to see you join me here.  

another fab gift

i wanted to share with you this gift i received last month from my friend (for almost 30 years!), kellie. she is a photographer, a designer, and lives her life on the cutting edge of cool.

she had her photographs put into a blank journal. each page is stamped with her creative vision.

the book features scenes from her travels, her home, and the things that catch her eye each day.

i can't wait to fill it with words but for now i enjoy leafing through the images and beckoning empty spaces.

i love gifts that contain something of the giver, pieces of a person that i can hold and cherish.

i own many journals but this one is extra special. when it is filled, i will have collaborated creatively with one of my best friends. i can't ask for more from a present.

48 in 48

my forty-eighth birthday is today and i was so inspired by andria's birthday list last year that i just had to make my own. so here are 48 things i have learned to be true in my 48 years:

1. people are more important than things
2. mexican restaurants serve the worst red wine
3. nice does matter
4. you are what you do, not what you say, or think, you are
5. living a balanced life means leaving room for junk food
6. walking is a good enough exercise
7. a good cook does not need fancy equipment
8. falling in love is not a crime
9. happiness is a choice
10. age happens and it is easier to just accept it gracefully
11. play rough, get hurt
12. good manners will open doors
13. the best weekends are like good vistas - wide open!
14. never say never - life will definitely humble you
15. you won't regret the time it takes to watch the sun rise or set
16. hot tea is good for the soul
17. bring your patience to the airport
18. comfort trumps style when it comes to shoes (and just about everything else!)
19. the more you have to do, the more you get done
20. summer is by far the shortest season
21. write it down if you want to remember it
22. life doesn't get easier but, with luck, age brings wisdom
23. finding someone you like to work with is a gift
24. the holiday season doesn't have to have rules
25. letting go is the hardest part of living
26. growing as a person is not linear - it takes many directions, even backwards
27. art = risk
28. real mail is so much more satisfying to send and receive than email
29. the presence of birth and death feels the same
30. getting together with old friends is never a waste of time
31. you can visit a place over and over and always find something new/different about it
32. work provides structure and meaning to life
33. there are an unlimited number of cloud formations
34. death is not the end; it is nothing to be feared
35. your siblings will grow up to be your best, and oldest, friends
36. a true, authentic life requires living through your soul
37. blue sky is something to smile about
38. everyone should know at least one favorite poem by heart
39. words are extensions of our thoughts and should be handled with care
40. there is nothing like hugging a horse for an instant shot of well-being
41. it's never too late to be who you really are and live the life you imagined
42. peanut butter m and m's are the best kind
43. there is a limited number of everything in life - birthdays, autumns, beautiful moments - so treasure each one
44. my three year old niece has the sweetest voice in all the world
45. you can learn something from everyone but sometimes it's not worth the bother
46. write, write, write
47. be kind even (especially) to yourself
48. wisdom is more important than truth

i plan to add to this list as i grow even older since i am no where close to being finished learning!

soaking it up

i'm not sure how much the human body can absorb, but i have been spending these first few days of the new year trying to soak up all the rest, peace, and gorgeous views that i can. soon i will be back in arizona, back to work and the hectic schedule that brings. so i would like to take some of this with me, hold it inside as long as i can, keep it in reserve. is that even possible? i know there will be days that i will need a shot of this feeling, of this space i am in here, to get through. just in case, i will continue to bask in relaxation and view gazing. if nothing else, it has began my new year in the right tone.

a new year

the new year is here: fresh, shiny, clean, crisp, and open. soon the calendar pages will begin to fill up and turn. right here and now i am enjoying the view from the beginning of 2012 and anticipating the trek through the days it holds.

my word this year is action. don't expect to see me zipping around with lots of energy, though. the action i have in mind is not so visible. i am hoping to complete some projects. i want to stay busy with positive activities. i will continue to work on the things that have made a difference for me so far. i have been completing the activities in susannah conway's unraveling the year ahead. it is so thought provoking and full of her wisdom - i have to wade through it little by little in these lazy days of winter break.

i feel like we are kids on a wooden dock over a lake in the summertime- let's grab hands, count to three and jump into the water together. i believe we will make a big splash. and come back up to the surface with smiles on our faces and giggles for our ears. ready!?

dreams

i get my love for and ability to dream from my dad. not the kind of dreaming that involves the imagining of a better life, but the activity that takes place as we sleep. my dad says he looks forward to going to bed each night because he anxiously awaits where his dreams will take him. he says he often meets my mother, who died nine years ago, in his dreams. i have always had frequent and vivid dreams. i revisit the same non-existent places, night after night. i could create a detailed map of the geography of my dream world. i don't dismiss these dreams but neither do i take them seriously. if they have been trying to direct or inform me, i have been oblivious. but, like my dad, i happily anticipate the people and places i will encounter in my sleep each night.