wild deep

holiday decor (still in progress)

i have been in what some call the wild deep. that place within myself that is far removed from others, from social obligation, from reaching out. i have been constantly thinking and creating, though: silently, thoughtfully, intensely. and now i am ready to share all that i have harbored. the holiday season is at our doorstep and i am inviting it in with joy. i plan to be much more visible this month and i have lots to share with you. and i am ready to fully take in what you are doing and look forward to the conversations we will have in this space. thank you for being here.

friendship

one of my friends turned forty last month and decided to celebrate by coming down from colorado to arizona with two of her good friends for veterans' day weekend. they arrived late thursday night and stayed until sunday evening. the time in-between was so full of joy and healing that it can only be described as pure girlfriend magic.

we traveled from phoenix to wickenburg to sedona and all the way up to the grand canyon. but we also journeyed into each other's hearts and stories. we shared hopes and opinions and ideas. the time we spent in each other's presence lasted from morning until early morning and we filled every minute with synergy.

i should be tired and crabby today from the lack of sleep i have gotten. but, instead, i am inspired and content. i feel beyond lucky to have gathered these three women in my space for three days and for the chance to bask in their incredible positive energy. each of them is so full of light and warmth. i am still glowing.

and so i encourage you to round up your friends, new and old. drive. talk and eat and stay up late. spill your secrets onto their laps just to feel the support and love that will fill your soul. give up your sleep and a few days for an experience that will gift you the best of memories. a girls' getaway is not a cliche or just for the young and unattached. it is not a travel industry advertisement. it is for all of us - an opportunity to give and receive the best we have to offer.

and, in case you were wondering, i am to the far right in this photo. HA! no, not really. :-) i am second to the right, surrounded by (left to right) my soul sisters deb, evie, (me), and audrey.

me, a to z

A. Age: 47, on the eve of 48
B. Bed size: Queen. not too big, not too small
C. Chore that you hate: anything that has to do with red tape. or cleaning.
D. Dogs: they are like people - i like some but not others. however, i have had some very special ones in my life. <3
E. Essential start to your day: coffee with cream, a moment of meditation
F. Favorite color: the color of the sky right before it gets dark
G. Gold or Silver: silver
H. Height: 5’11"
I. Instruments you play: I don't play any well but that doesn't stop me from occasionally trying
J. Job title: reading interventionist
K. Kids: none of my own; 4 nephews and 2 nieces; 2 step-children; hundreds of students; currently one cat
L. Live: glendale, arizona; northwest of phoenix
M. Mother’s name: lana kae
N. Nicknames: my nieces and nephews call me lolo :-) my brother and sister used to call me baby when we were growing up even though i was the oldest kid in the family
O. Overnight hospital stays: thankfully none and i intend to keep it that way!
P. Pet peeves: slackers at work
Q. Quote from a movie: "damn it, jim!" oh, that was a tv show. but jim is my husband's name so it is just fun to say every once in awhile
R. Right or left handed: right
S. Siblings: a younger sister and an even younger brother
U. Underwear: comfy over attractive
V. Vegetable you hate: i love veggies!
W. What makes you run late: daydreaming
X. X-Rays you’ve had: arm, teeth
Y. Yummy food that you make: my mom's gingersnap cookies
Z. Zoo animal: i'm really not a zoo person

and you?

lake shore walk

the following is an excerpt from a journal entry i made on sunday, november 6:

we went for a walk along the lake shore this morning. i was comfortable sitting inside but something was beckoning me to step out and experience the day.

the lake water is way down, leaving little "treasures", natural and other-wise, out to view.

the water plants in curvy formations in the sand, rusty railroad spikes, broken glass catching light, driftwood in awkward formations, and rocks in varied colors. thin layers of ice covered small pools of water on the mud, crunching delicately under our feet.

a thin line of geese swam next to us until one of them honked a cryptic directive and they lifted off the water with powerful strokes of wings.

the air here smells of wood smoke and lake water. in the six weeks since we were last here, autumn has settled in where there was once the sparkle of summer.

being back. kind of.

i returned home last saturday from spending a week in italy. the following is one of my pre-sleep scribblings which describes how i feel after jumping back into regular life again.

i have been so tired this week. it is as if i am still there, but here, and not quite whole. flying is hard for my spirit and i blame it on having an old soul not used to speeding through the air above the earth. at night, i snuggle with sleep, unwilling to release it when the time comes to get up. in the dark, my mind sorts through the memories from our trip: mentally sorting, scrapbooking, journaling. i was gone only a week but this vacation will last as a part of me now, settling into the frame of my life, graphing itself into me for good.

love letter to rome

a page from my travel journal featuring a vintage postcard of the colosseum

dear rome,

i have been away from you much too long, i know. there was a time in my life when you were my truest love and i thrived in your embrace. well, i am returning in just a few short days to see you again. this time i have no checklist, no agenda, for you and i are beyond that stage in our relationship. i am coming back to just sit in your piazzas, walk your cobblestone streets, and drink in the intoxicating atmosphere that has made you popular for centuries. and, i must tell you, i am bringing someone with me - you don't know him but he is someone i believe will be as enamored with you as i am. so look for us as we look for you. and know how much it has meant to me over the years that you remain solid in a world that spins much too fast.

love, me

*i will be in italy for a week, october 8 - 14. a presto!

prickly love

while hiking a couple of weekends ago, i spotted this cactus. at first it seemed like such an opposition - a heart with spines?! we snapped a few photos and moved on down the trail. but this image has stayed with me and i have given a lot of thought to why this cactus is the perfect spokes-thing for love. lets face it, love is often very fickle and hard to hang on to. it is visible but difficult to approach. we like to imagine it as warm and fuzzy but it can be pokey and cause pain. just think of how we protect our own vulnerable hearts behind defense mechanisms more complex, but just as effective, as thorns. so a cactus heart really does have a lot to say about the nature of love. pliers, anyone?!