Monday, December 27, 2010

personally

all of my life people have told me "not to take things so personally." it's not that i don't agree with this advice but i simply don't know how to apply it. i take everything into me: good/bad, beautiful/tragic, minor/catastrophic. i have never been able to merely observe life; instead it sinks into the marrow of my bones and the pulsing muscles of my heart.
perhaps i'm afraid that if i step back, i'll lose my view. or myself, as i know me.
in this season of resolutions and new plans, i should consider taking a different stance when it comes to facing life. i'm not oppose to the idea of change but i certainly don't run out to embrace it, especially when it requires self-examination and constant awareness.
in the meantime, i realize i overreact to happenings and will probably continue to do so for a long time even if i do commit to the work it will take to change. i'm an old dog on the brink of a new year.