Monday, January 24, 2011

tag! i'm it.

my friend and blog-guru, amie, tagged me today on her blog. this is the first time i've ever done one of these so i didn't know what to expect. some of the questions were easy to answer but a couple of them really stumped me! it was a challenge to reach inside for responses but a good exercise to strengthen how well i know myself. and it was fun to read about her.

Q1. If you blog anonymously, are you happy doing this? If you aren't anonymous, do you wish you started out anonymously so that you could be anonymous now?
i don’t blog anonymously but neither do i put all my info out there. i’m a private person but definitely have thoughts and ideas i want to share and the blog format is perfect for me.

Q2. Describe an incident that shows your inner stubborn side.
i only get my hair cut two or three times a year (even though it could certainly use it more often!) i hate appointments (of any kind!) because i always think i have better things to do with my time.

Q3. What do you really see when you look at yourself in the mirror?
sometimes i am surprised at how i look – in my mind, i still see myself as a 25 year old! but i am not distressed by my aging face. i am trying to take better care of myself these days, not because i want to look better or preserve myself, but rather because now i believe i deserve it.

Q4. What is your favorite summer cold drink?
san pellegrino sparkling water

Q5. When you take time for yourself, what do you do?
paint, look through magazines, daydream, read, nap, take a long bath, journal

Q6. Is there something you still want to accomplish in your life?
i want to travel to morocco. i want to finish organizing my craft room and my boxes of stuff out in the garage. i want to be able to meditate without my mind doing jumping jacks. And I want to grow old gracefully.

Q7. When you attended school, were you the class clown, the class overachiever, the shy person, or always ditching?
i was shy and had my head in a book a lot of time. i got ok grades but nothing spectacular in high school (much to my parents’ dismay) but did much better in college.

Q8. If you close your eyes and want to visualize a very poignant moment in your life, what would you see?
i went to Paris when i was in my twenties and saw the eiffel tower. it was a dream of mine since i was a young girl and to have it actually happen was an amazing feeling. i think it also set the tone for me as a traveler and goal-setter in the years that followed.

Q9. Is it easy for you to share your true self in your blog, or are you more comfortable writing posts about other people or events?
i share bits and pieces of myself but not everything. i don’t feel comfortable saying too much about the others in my life, since i'm not sure how they would feel about it.

Q10. If you had the choice to sit down and read a book or talk on the phone, which would you do and why?

i would read. i don’t even really like talking on the phone (except to a few select people and when the timing is right) and usually don’t even know where my cell phone is!

so there it is - a bit more about me. :-) i'm now going to tag all of you. i would love to hear your answers to these questions. consider yourself "it".

Thursday, January 13, 2011


ali edwards put a post titled loving on her blog last week - she is always cutting edge and very talented. i was so inspired by it that i wanted to create my own, especially after all the negative energy i've been feeling this week. so here's what i'm loving right now:

i am loving this book. actually i am loving just reading again after the hustle and bustle of the holiday season. it feels great to curl up under the blankets with a good novel. this story has it all so far and i am falling deeper into its magic pages each evening. of course, you can not go wrong by reading anything by barbara kingsolver - she is a master.

even though i live in sunny arizona, there is something about winter that makes me crave a cup of hot tea. i am loving this blend right now and could sip on it for hours, just adding hot water now and then.
i am loving the hipstamatic photos i've been taking on the iphone my friend, kl, gave me. the quality of the light in these shots matches the way i see the world. i'm no techy or photographer but i've had so much fun with it. thanks kl!

i know i am a bit late to the party, but i have discovered brene brown and have a huge crush on her. i have watched this video several times and it makes so much sense to me. love, love, love.

i am loving the oportunity to identify these special things in my life and plan to do this again.

Tuesday, January 11, 2011

heartache in az

i haven't been able to blog for several days because i am so distraught about what happened in tucson on saturday. it is impossible to comprehend why someone would do such a thing. it is difficult to understand why guns are so easy to obtain in our country. it is sad to realize that people who need help often slip through the cracks and don't get it. and it is heartbreaking to think of those that were killed or injured and their families.

i want to point fingers and place blame. i want it to somehow make sense (oh - that's what went wrong!) so we could take the precautions to ensure it will never, ever happen again. but i know it is not that simple. all i can do is vow to be present, with an open (and breaking) heart, for the information and uncomfortable discussions that follow this event. and if there is a way to prevent violence, all of us have to stand behind it. but most of all, let's continue to believe that the positive does outweigh and will outlast the negative in this world.

Friday, January 7, 2011


today is my forty-seventh birthday. from here, this number doesn't look too young or too old, no landmark or watershed, nothing spectacular. but i have been looking forward to this day for months now. there is something about forty-seven that has been calling to me, urging me on, as if it knows it has a place for me and i am going to love it. so i enter new year with much anticipation.
me on my first birthday

i took the day off and am spending it at home, alone. this is the way i prefer my birthday. no fanfare or big celebrations for me. i want to be able to navigate my way through the day as i feel it - painting, resting, reading, thinking. and i am fortunate that those in my life honor my wishes and give me this day to do as i please.

my most difficult birthday was when i turned thirty-nine. i was in rome, italy taking a morning shower (in a tiny, can't even raise your arms up, little stall) when i realized that the person who had shared this day with me originally was no longer here - my mom had died about six weeks before. she used to tell me the story of the day i was born each year on my birthday and it was something i looked forward to. i had myself a good cry in that hotel room across the sea the first time she was no longer able to do that.

but today i am not sad and, although i am by myself right now, i am surrounded by love. i have already received many cards and gifts in the mail, texts and photos, and a few phone calls wishing me a happy birthday. i feel extremely blessed and content. today is a positive omen of a wonderful year which i am standing on the brink of right now.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011


like many others, i have been deciding on a word. a word to guide my year, to focus on and stay true to. a few have been considered (awaken, bloom) but on new year's eve i woke up with the perfect word on my mind: together. this word is so versatile and covers all my plans and hopes for the next year.

i believe at this point in my life i should have it together - no more inconsistencies and random moves. i want to be together: body, mind, and spirit. making choices that support the health and unity of all aspects of myself. together is knowing who i am and what i want. it is the cumulation of years of trying, years of self-work, years of experiences. together is embracing all that for this shiny new year.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011


i spent this past weekend up at the grand canyon. the drive up there was difficult, with closed highways, icy roads, and blowing snow. but such a quiet, peaceful scene was found upon arrival. here is a photo of our cabin.
i read, slept, painted, and lost myself in deep thought. the absence of sound and ground that the canyon emits allows you to truly relax.
the views out the window were gorgeous. i could enjoy all the beauty without even being cold.
it was the perfect place to begin the new year.