the truth

the truth is i would love to write and paint and create more often than i do. i run around through my days with ideas simmering in my head but often that is where they stay.

the truth is i want to blog every day or at least several times a week but this isn't what happens. sometimes more than a week slips by between posts.

the truth is i work a full time job in which i use up so much energy doing the way i believe it needs to be done. there are evenings when i arrive home with nothing left to give.

the truth is i sometimes get discouraged and begin to believe that i should put all my artistic pursuits on the shelf. at least for now. and just focus on the immediate things that need to be accomplished on a daily basis.

but the truth is i would not be me if i gave up on this part of my life. so i will continue to search for those bits of free time, treasure and use them fully when they appear, and try not to berate myself when a few days go by that are filled up with the other parts of my life. i will have faith that there will be time, here and there, for all i wish to do.

my love of clouds

i love clouds. i find them more interesting and beautiful than anything else i see on a daily basis. how lucky i am that what i enjoy so much is easily found here on earth by just looking up most days.

click here for an absolutely gorgeous view of clouds. and let me know what it is that you love to look at.

where i'm from

Where I'm From

I am from the shadow of mountains, from coca cola and long, dusty roads.

I am from the little cozy houses throughout the west, filled with outdoor treasures and warm fires.

I am from the lilac bushes in spring, my mom's carefully planted petunias, scattered cedar trees, sage brush, wildflowers and lots of wood.

I am from homemade Christmas presents and philosophical dinner conversations, the Little House books and the music of John Denver, from Lana and Rex, Meezy and Dirty Dan.

I am from the gypsies and the scholars, the dreamers and the workers, the hunters and the gatherers.

From "play rough, get hurt" and "people are more important than things."

I am from the natural places more sacred than churches, poetry recited aloud, the wonder of science, the power of gratitude, and the embrace of uncertainty.

I am from the Black Hills and the Rocky Mountains, Lake Pend O'reille and countless winding rivers, nourished by elk burger, gingersnap cookies, and homemade birthday cakes.

From the little brown nickel my mom tried to buy an ice cream with, the wolf my dad saw in the Colorado mountains, and the shoes my grandma coveted when she was young and oh, so poor.

I am from keeping memories in my mind (so they will never be lost) and the joy of retelling family stories to each other and our newest members.

*This template was used by Corrine on her blog last week. I just loved reading hers and had so much fun writing my own. The original can be found here in case you would like to try it.

signs

one day a couple months ago we took my two nephews for a hike. the beginning of the hike was steep and we all stayed together, sharing water and taking breaks. then, on the way back down to the trail head, they picked up their pace and got way ahead of us. i was somewhat worried since i could not see them and wasn't even sure they stayed on the right trail. then to my delight, we found some signs on the path that they had made with sticks and rocks to let us know they were up ahead.

this one says lolo, which is what they call me

here they scratched my name in the dirt and left an arrow pointing to which way they had gone

i often wish there were more signs in life to show us which way to go and let us know we are on the right path. maybe i just need to slow down and start paying attention.

low to no tech

here is a glimpse into my low to no tech style of writing. i have been using a notebook i bought for 28 cents and a mechanical pencil (with thick lead since i tend to be a hard presser.) i can throw it in my bag and take it out wherever when i have another thought ready to be put to words.

i am writing a short fictional story. it was inspired by a dream i had one night (i have some crazy dreams!) and has since been pushing at me to get out. i love being caught up in a creative project and this has kept me busy thinking and writing for days. i don't know what i am going to do with it when it's finished. maybe some stories are written just for the sake of the writing.

healing

i have really been thinking a lot about the process of healing lately. it requires complete presence to overcome illness and injury. and i'm not sure if the things i am learning are universal or just pertain to my own body and mind.

for me, i discover the most about this process by not thinking, by letting my body help me feel my way through it. but it also requires a strong, steady mindset - it is easy to over-react, get off-course, succumb to fear. i made a list of the things that are healing for me including hot tea, long baths, sunshine, music, the sound of rain, deep sleep, and patience. i plan to review this list when i need to focus on getting or keeping well. it is part of the human experience to care for our bodies when they encounter difficulties and they all eventually do. i encourage everyone to make a list of the things that are healing for you so you will have it on hand when the need arises.

an angel

i believe in a guardian angel of roadkill. an invisible saint that comforts animal souls after they have been hurt or injured by vehicles.

this being's soft voice drowns out crunching metal, squealing tires and shattered glass. her warm touch protects against impact with hard and rough surfaces. but most of all, the angel's presence conveys love during a horrific experience. she accompanies these victims to a peaceful place away from machines and pavement. it is what any living being deserves, especially those without guilt or power. so i choose to believe in and honor this most special of guardian angels.

my tribe

i like how the word tribe is used to describe those in your close circle, your best friends and strongest connections, the like-minded souls you feel akin with. it sounds like a sacred word in a somewhat cold and secular world. to be in someone's tribe is a great honor and privilege.

artwork by my nephew, frankie

in my own life, my tribe is small and change is rare. i guard my tribe fiercely and have a very nurturing role with its members. it brings me heartache to have someone within, for whatever reason, move on. my tribe gives life meaning to me and inspires my best self to come forward. i continue to hope and work for a better world because of my tribe. who makes up your tribe?

birth day stories

every time someone i know celebrates a birthday i ask to hear their birth day story. we all have one that is as unique as we are. where were you born? what time of day did you make your appearance? who was there? what was the weather like at that time? each birth is surrounded by joy and pain, hopes and dreams, memories and connections. there is an energy that is present when someone enters this world that contains so much possibility. time holds billions of birth stories out there and each one is sacred and precious. i encourage you to tell these stories, write them down, linger over the details and make them a part of the fabric that is your family.